Tuesday, July 11, 2006

African Facts and Fables

Below is a joke I received via email. As it's the case with email spams, the source of this joke is unknown. Enjoy:


How do you tell a Nigerian from a Kenyan, for example; and I am not talking about passports or clothing? Well the easiest way, of course, is the name: For example Ogunkoye can only be a Nigerian and Njoroge from Kenya.

And so where do the Dunns come from? They are certainly from Liberia or Sierra Leone. Surely, everybody knows that the loud and cocky ones are the West Africans; the brooding and sly ones are the North and South Africans respectively; the East Africans always say yes, even when they disagree with you violently.

To be more specific, the Cameroonians will borrow money from you to buy champagne; whilst the Ghanaians think they invented politics. The Congolese think they have the best music and the best dancers; The Nigerians have a thing about clothes; and the Ethiopians believe they have the most beautiful women on God's earth. Moroccans actually think they're French, and so do the Burkinabes. Algerians just hate the French; Sierra Leonians simply smile profusely; and Liberians can't get over America.

All East and South African countries have the same national anthem, but the South Africans sing it the best. The South Africans have no hair; the Zambians and Kenyans have prominent foreheads; the West Africans have short memories and never learn from their mistakes; the concept of order and discipline must have been invented in East Africa; the words don't exist in West Africa, especially in Nigeria. When a cabinet minister is "caught with his hands in the till," he commits suicide in Southern Africa; in West Africa he's promoted after the next coup d'etat.

In athletics, the divisions are quite simple: from 800m to the marathon the East Africans hold sway; the West Africans are only good at the sprints; and South Africans can only sing. But when it comes to football (soccer), the North and West Africans dominate the lesser-skilled East and South Africans.